Dr. Fauci Reports That Alcohol May Help People Survive Coronavirus Briefings | The Borowitz Report
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Fauci changes Trump's Twitter Password. “I was just waiting for the right opportunity.” During the daily meeting of the coronavirus task force, the esteemed virologist noticed that, while Trump launched into an extended rant about former Vice-President Joe Biden , he left his phone unattended on the conference-room table. Springing into action, Fauci surreptitiously took custody of Trump’s phone and changed his Twitter password in a matter of seconds. “I’d never hacked into a Twitter account before,” he said. “My heart was beating like a rabbit’s.” Fauci said that there was “little to no chance” of Trump being able to guess his new password. “I used a polysyllabic word,” Fauci said. C.D.C. Director Says Coronavirus Effort Could Be Helped by Quarantining Pence The director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said on Friday that significant progress in battling the coronavirus could be achieved by today's blog is a parody of curre...